Couples Rituals for the Holidays
Religious, spiritual or secular, for most of us the holidays are filled with rituals. But in the realm of enhancing relationships we also need to ask ourselves about rituals that are just about our partnership. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the holidays with family and friends, parties and celebrations, only to find ourselves fall out the other end exhausted, feeling like the one person we haven’t connected with is our partner.
With that in mind, at a recent Banff Couples Conference committee meeting we shared with each other what couples ritual we perform or might begin to keep us connected at a deep level throughout the festivities.
Victor and Chelsey go to Victor’s parents house in northern B.C., to enjoy time with Victor’s aging father. Every morning they walk through the silent forest in deep snow, inhaling the smell of the pines.
Rod and Judy’s children left home ten years ago, so these days their special time is to put the Christmas tree up together. They put on Christmas music while they decorate, then enjoy the tree lights. Then they take photos by the tree in Christmas outfits!
Kate and Clay haven’t had a ritual just for them, but have decided to begin a new tradition of going to a restaurant in the city that they have really wanted to go to, and then possibly staying the night in a hotel.
Bob and Jane have found that life has changed a lot in the past two years, with the kids not being around anymore. They used to wrap gifts for five stockings together, but now it feels as if they are entering a new stage. They are thinking about what couples ritual might work well for them.
Ray and Margaret’s couples ritual for the holidays starts with Margaret’s passion for singing at her church on Christmas Eve. Ray has started coming to the last service with her, which ends very late. They go home and do the stockings together.
For Jacqueline and Joe, like most of us, to date they have focused purely on family rituals, and they are still working on what kind of couples ritual would be best for them. It might be an early morning walk in Kananaskis…They’ll let us know!
What will you do for the holidays, to stay connected?!